No matter how you slice it, cake has much to say. At Carrot Ranch, of course, it would be carrot cake. As some have pondered, when did we start putting vegetables in cake? Perhaps the addition fortified a treat with additional nutrients; perhaps kitchen cooks long ago used carrots to add moisture and texture.

Writers chased the trail of carrots in cake and returned with a tasty batch of stories. Just as each baker adds a signature touch, you can expect each writer to add their own flair to flash.

The following are based on the March 16, 2018, prompt: In 99 words (no more, no less) write a story about carrot cake.

***

Cake for Tomorrow by Denise Aileen DeVries

When Bitty Johnson invited Myra Jean to spend the day making carrot cake, she envisioned some kind of mass production. To her surprise, Mrs. Johnson picked her up in an old Ford and drove outside the town limits. “Nuts from Mr. Whittaker first,” she explained, “then eggs from the Browns.” Each ingredient involved a visit to a different home, a glass of sweet tea, a homemade treat, some conversation, and then Bitty’s anecdotes in between. It was nearly sunset when the baking began.
Although it was only one cake, it was delicious because of all that went into it.

###

Strawberry Moon by D. Avery

Marge sat at the table poring over a seed catalog, one of the balloons a strawberry moon overhead.

“I want carrot cake, Earnest, that’s what.”

“There’s some at the store.”

“I want to make it.”

“We can buy carrots.”

“No, I wanna grow the carrots.”

“Well gee Marge, it’s gonna take a long while to get that cake.”

“Yes, well into summer.”

“Why wait so long? Why work so hard?”

“It’s to celebrate. Us. You like balloons, I like cake.”

Earnest grinned. Marge would be baking, here, come summer.

“I’ll dig the garden patch, Marge.”

“That’s what I figured.”

###

My Roots by Bill Engleson

“Really…we’ve got the ingredients. Mostly its flour and carrots. Quite easy.”

“Hmm, okay, but…” and here I dig deep, “if it was me, I’d go with chocolate.”

I can see I’ve touched a culinary nerve. She also digs deep. With tongue and feet. “Plain and simple, I don’t like chocolate, or pie, or cake…any of the chocolate spinoffs.”

“But its my birthday,” I go for the jugular. “That should count for something.”

She hesitates.

Have I won this round?

“Okay,” she says, touching my lips. “A compromise. How about chocolate carrot turnip cake?”

I’m snookered.

Inevitably, love is compromise.

###

Cake-Off! by Ritu Bhathal

Lifting the last box from her bag, Ritu sighed with satisfaction.

The pastries, bites and cakes had all reached the venue intact: Nutella puff pastry twists, Rocky Road bites, and her favourite, carrot cake cupcakes.

Nothing else was laid on the table… until he turned up.

Armed with gluten-free, sugar-free fare, His Geoffleship laid his plates across the other table half.

The competition had arrived.

Soon the room began to fill with the attendees of the Bloggers Bash, ready for the Blog Awards…

But for these two bakers, the real winner would be who won the Great Bash Bake-off!

###

Shifting Preferences by Reena Saxena

We are proud of your accomplishments, dear son! Good to know that you have bought a house in UK, with that well-paying job! What pains us is that you do not respond to your wife’s calls or mails. It is high time, that you took her with you. We would like to see a grandchild, before we die. Sending some Indian sweets for you….

And so on, continued my mother’s rants on email.

How do I tell her that my preferences have shifted from carrot halwa to carrot cake? The family will soon see a divorce petition from me.

###

Carat Cake by Kay Kingsley

From the moment he met her his heart was hers. He devours her details, locking them in his memory to surprise her when she least expects it, showing he cares.

She loves horses, the beach, and the color purple. She wants to be a doctor, travel to Egypt and swim with dolphins.

He adores her and she him and on their anniversary he will bake her a version of her favorite cake only this version will contain a different kind of carat. And trying to steady his voice and his knee, he will ask her to be his forever.

###

Carrot Cake by Frank Hubney

He reminded her of the strudel she used to make. He wanted to make it himself, but he didn’t know how. Could she teach him?

She asked him about that girl he liked. He said her name was Shirley. “What happened to her?”

“There she is.”

“Ah! She’s grown!”

“And we have children. Look.” He pointed to two girls too old for innocence, too young to be on their own in the doorway.

“How beautiful! I don’t know if I remember how to make that carrot cake.”

“That’s alright.”

“What was that girl’s name again?”

“It’s Shirley.”

“How beautiful!”

###

Grandma’s Carrot Cake by Faith A. Colburn

For Grandma’s 100th birthday, we ordered a cake, a carrot cake, her favorite. It was a big sheet cake decorated with a replica of my cousin’s painting of the farm in frosting. Grandma had lived on that farm for 70 years and her eyes filled with tears for just a moment. We invited everybody—cousins from California and Alaska and neighbors from next door. It was the last time all the grandkids and greats got together in one place.

With an evil gleam in her eye, Grandma looked around and said, “You didn’t think I’d make it, did you?”

###

Carrot Cake? by Sarah Whiley

Jake’s eyes sparkled as he slid the plate towards me.

The sliver of cake was moist; loaded with carrots. Ground walnuts, covered the rich cream cheese icing. I picked up my fork, mouth watering in anticipation.

“Where’s yours? I don’t want to consume all these calories on my own!” I teased.

“This one’s especially for you,” he replied.

Shrugging, I dug the fork into the cake, feeling metal hit metal.

Breaking it apart, I gasped. In the middle lay a cushion-cut, diamond ring.

“It’s a carat cake,” Jake joked, locking his eyes on mine. “Will you marry me Isabel?”

###

She Said Yes by Joe Owens

Sydney marveled at the flawless carrot cake on the picnic table. For the first time in her seventeen years she had one to be proud of. She cocked her head at the odd droning sound above, but the bright sun made it difficult to see. There was a myriad of colors and then a sickening thud as something dropped into the center of her cake.

“What’s that?” triplet Macey asked pointing at the pyramid shaped photo block.

Sydney’s heart leapt at the photo of Marcus on one knee holding a sign that said only “PROM?”

“Finally!” she said. “Finally!”

###

Let Them Eat Cake! by Juliet Nubel

“You can’t give them carrot cake, ma chérie. This is France, remember?

How could she forget? Born with a supercilious culinary chauvinism, the French believed that everything they cooked was good, better, the best.

“They’ll love it.” The look in Joanna’s eyes warned him to drop the subject.

His father had looked intrigued. His mother had looked appalled. But neither had dared refuse the dark, moist, glistening slice.

Later, as the Gallic goodbyes finally ended, Joanna leaned against the door. A small, satisfied smile landed on her lips.

“Your mother just asked me for something, Jean-Paul.”

“What?”

“The recipe!”

###

Carrot Cake is the Way to a Man’s Heart by Sarah Southwest

Look at him. He’s gorgeous. And now, look at her – slim, blonde, elegant – and he’s all over her, begging eyes,  like a dog that wants a biscuit. Makes me sick.

Cappuccino and carrot cake for him? Black coffee for her? Worried about her figure, obviously. It’s all right – I’ll serve them, I say.

“Two coffees, and one cake”.

I set it down in front of him. He doesn’t even look at me. Not until the first mouthful, and then he looks around, and meets my eyes.

She doesn’t stand a chance.

###

A Mother Always Knows by Colleen Chesebro

The train clickety-clacked across the rails while rolling hills flashed outside the windows with the speed of an old movie reel. I swayed my way into a mindful moment, breathing in peace.

A loud sniff interrupted my reverie. Across from me, the woman’s red eyes blared out her secrets. Tears streamed down her face and sobs wracked her body. Our eyes met, and she shook her head, silence her shield.

Mothers recognize pain. When the throbbing ache subsides, hunger sets in. I opened the box and drew out the carrot cake, a gift for a friend. Sweets always heal.

###

Carrot Cake by Lisa Rey

Michael set about making his carrot cake for the pending agricultural show. He had lost five years running. He was determined that this would be his year. He knew why he had lost each year and he was fuming. In this small town, they were all friends and he was the only man who entered. And there was a worldwide vendetta.
The world seems to hate white, cisgender, conservative, heterosexual males.

Across town, head judge Loreen looked at the list of competitors. She smiled at Michael’s name and thought,
That poor man can’t cook and he’s into so himself.

###

Carrot Cake (Jane Doe Flash Fiction) by Deborah Lee

The mindless chatter of two dozen people washes over Jane’s head, normally a wall of sound to hide behind but today, something to navigate. She balances her paper plate of cake – carrot, with cream cheese frosting, a favorite – careful not to jostle as she makes her way to where Barbara sits, queenlike, amid bona fide paralegals.

“I’m so sorry to hear Marianne is leaving,” Jane plunges in as Barbara glances up. “Are you accepting applications for her position?” She smiles brightly even as Becca’s eyes shoot daggers from across the room.

One woman’s going-away cake is another woman’s chance.

###

Over Indulging by Heather Gonzalez

“Cut me another slice of cake. One with a frosting carrot on top.” Jerry said, shoveling the last bite of cake.

“Are you sure?” Ariana hesitated.

“It is my right as an American.”

She sighed and enabled her husband’s habit of drowning himself in food. This was not what she imagined would happen when she agreed to marry him.

“I should have stayed in my country.” Ariana spoke under her breathe as she handed him the cake.

“What?”

“I am glad you brought me to this country.”

“Best money I ever spent. You are even better than your ad.”

###

American Tastes by Sherri Matthews

Sponge pudding and custard. Definitely. But cheesecake? No way.

‘Go on Helen, try it, it’s really nice,’ coaxed her brother.

No way. Cheese and cake…together? Whoever heard of that?

When she told her school friends the next morning about the latest awful thing her stepfather had brought home, they all agreed it sounded revolting.

Years later for her birthday, Helen’s American friends made her a carrot cake.

The laughed together as she recounted her cheesecake moment. Was she more daring now, they teased?

‘Go on Helen…’ they chorused.

Helen took a forkful and smiled. Life had never tasted better.

###

Gram’s Peculiar Taste by Kerry E.B. Black

Constance frowned and poked her piece of cake, leaving four tine-marks as evidence of her displeasure.

Carrot cake? What kind of trick was this? Her mother didn’t disguise the vegetable’s presence. She proclaimed it in orange and green icing atop the sea of ivory.

Not like the time she served squash and pretended it was spaghetti.

Who knew what other things she slipped into meals?

“Mo-om, why can’t we have chocolate?”

Mom bustled about, polishing the silver. “Because carrot is your Gram’s favorite.”

Gram sure had peculiar taste.

At least Mom made chocolate chip scones.

Or were they current?

###

Health Nut by njoyslife

Traffic is frustrating. I’ve had a bad day at work. It’s been a miserable day according to the news, social injustice and senseless violence everywhere. Stress tightens my brow, back, shoulders, my clenched jaw. I push the button to turn the car radio off, inanely telling it to ‘shut up!’ I want to get home, make myself a healthy meal. Self-care, I remind myself, is so important when you’re stressed. I pull into a bakery parking lot. “I’ll take the carrot cake” I tell the surly clerk. In no mood to cook, I take my sweet vegetarian meal home.

###

Blow My Candles Out by Rowena Newton

“Happy Birthday, Honey. I’ve checked all the ingredients. Even your cardiologist says it’s fine…gluten free, sugar free, fat free.” Sue tried hard to smile. “So, you can have your cake and eat it too.”

“So, what IS in it?” Richard growled, longing for Nigella’s Nutella Cake instead. As much as he loved his wife and family, he wasn’t sure it was worth coming back for this new life with all its restrictions. He couldn’t even breathe without asking for permission first.

“Carrot cake? I am NOT a horse! I’m off to the pub. You can blow my candles out!”

###

Easter Bunny Carrot Cake by Hugh Roberts

It was carrot pudding in 1591. Then, in 1783, the Easter Bunny, while on its way to do some early Christmas shopping, watched George Washington eat the first Carrot cake at the Fraunces Tavern in lower Manhattan. As George ate the carrot cake, the Easter Bunny drooled over the thought of carrots in a cake.

These humans were clever. Why had nobody in the bunny world invented carrot cake? However, on Easter Day 2019, carrot cake became so sixteenth century when the first human cake was served in the bunny world. Now, the Easter Bunny had a naughty list.

###

Liberated by Unconditional Love by Molly Stevens

When she was a child, she tested her mother by asking, “If I killed someone, would you still love me?” Her mother reassured her, “I’d hate what you did, but I would always love you.”

She clung to this conversation, replaying it a thousand times a day while languishing in her cell. Eroding her faith was an echoing rebuttal: You are not worthy of love.

When she received notice of a visitor, she lifted her shackled spirit and trudged to the visiting area. There stood her mother, holding a homemade carrot cake. Smiling she said, “Happy Birthday, baby girl.”

###

Just Desserts by Patrick M. O’Conner

“Eh – What’s Up Doc?”

You could just hear the sarcasm dripping in his voice.

I had just lost a job I had been doing for over twenty years and was in no mood, but it made me laugh anyway.

I needed some humor to relieve the stress I was under. It’s tough getting downsized.

I smiled and said, “How about a piece of that carrot cake you got there?”

“No problem sir. I’ll get that right away. Need a drink with that?” he said.

“How about some ice cold milk?”

Somehow, I knew things were going to be ok.

###

Carrot Cake Debate by Ann Edall-Robson

“It’s carrot cake.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Yes, it is. I can’t for the life of me see why you can’t accept that IT IS CARROT CAKE!”

“BECAUSE IT’S NOT! You don’t make it like my Gran did, so it can’t be carrot cake.”

“Just because I don’t spend hours grating carrots and I ice mine with cream cheese icing, doesn’t mean it’s not carrot cake.”

“Well, it’s not. She didn’t spend hours and hours making her cake.”

“Just taste mine. I think you’ll see what I mean.”

“I won’t like it.”

“You might.”

“Maybe it’s not bad, I guess.”

###

A Reluctant Upgrade by Paula Moyer

Jean never made carrot cake. It sounded too – next generation. No, Jean was proudly retro.

Her go-to was the Duchess Spice Cake from the Betty Crocker cookbook, the first edition of 1950. For her cake, made with buttermilk, Jean doubled the spices in the recipe. The result: dark, aromatic batter that sweetened the air as it baked.

The icing was pretty retro, too: buttercream frosting. Lots of butter.

She really couldn’t see how carrots would improve it. Why pretend it was health food?

Then: the neighbor’s party. The cute orange squiggles on top. The carrots, walnuts, raisins.

Jean surrendered.

###

Dangling the Carrot by Geoff Le Pard

‘One more step, Logan.’

‘This had better be worth it.’

‘Open your eyes.’

‘Morgan, it’s a cave.’

‘No, it’s what you wanted.’

‘Come again?’

‘You said, “Give me something never before see in the history of rock”… Tada!’

‘I meant bringing Lynyrd Skynyrd back to life.’

‘It’s also a cake. Carrot cake. Your favourite.’

‘You made a carrot cake the size of Snowdon? How do you expect me to eat that?’

‘That’s the other surprise. See, Logan, all you classmates from Pratt’s Bottom Primary, including Angela Clummbits.’

‘I will kill you, Morgan.’

‘Just bow out your candles first, Logan.’

###

Carrot Cake? by FloridaBorne

Do you want the lusciously smooth dark chocolate cake with the melty buttercream and dark chocolate icing, or would you rather have stubbly carrots and nuts with the possibility of (shudder) pineapple thrown into it?

The last time I tried carrot cake, the first bite ended up inside a napkin.  It took a cup of coffee and a slice of chocolate pie to get rid of the taste.

I’ve had good carrot cakes made with quality ingredients, but nothing screams “comfort food” like chocolate.

###

Soggy Cake by Jack Schuyler

A cake. What a sight to see on a rainy day. Sitting there, a soggy wet cake. The raindrops hit my rain slicker and roll off, but when they hit the cake, they pool, ripping cracks in the cream frosting and turning the khaki sponge a sadder brown. A soggy wet carrot cake sitting there, on the picnic table, in the rain.

Perhaps it was left by a forgetful baker, sent for shelter by the sudden deluge. Or maybe it’s the sole remnant of a child’s party, cut short by the sudden storm. Whatever the story, it’s no use now.

###

Carrot Cake by Rebecca Glaessner

“Scanning; water, sand. Beach?”

“This one?”

“Turbine engines, winged structures. Aircraft?”

“This?”

“Two humans. Arms around eachother. Content. Hugging?”

“What else?” The human watched the Android ponder.

“Unable to ascertain without further details.”

“Guess.”

“Scenarios with highest probabilities are a need for warmth, or pressure to ease physical discomfort.”

“Anything else?”

“Physical exhaustion; a need for postural support.”

The human glanced up at a surveillance camera.

“Emotional comfort?”

The human paused.

“Physical contact creates a bond, a feeling of worth. Like ingredients in the carrot cake we made. Individual ingredients gained deeper worth through bonding.”

The human grinned, “exactly.”

###

An Unexpected Exchange (from Rock Creek) by Charli Mills

Mary McCanles set the carrot cake in the window sill to cool. Several Otoe boys hunkered beneath the window, and Sarah watched them from the shade of the horse-barn. One boy reached toward the cake. From inside the house, a man’s large hand grasped the boy’s wrist. Instead of squeals of terror, they all laughed at the one who got caught. A flour sack of carrots passed from the man’s hands to the boy’s and the Otoe ran off toward their family holdings. Sarah shook her head. Leave it to Cobb to be generous to those others feared.

###

Truth in Cake by PTSD Girl

Call it sibling rivalry but I hated having a sister. They start out taking toys, then clothes and even dare I say, boyfriends. Birthdays were always special for the youngest of us girls and I despised carrot cake just because it was her favorite. Each year without fail the sickly sweet aroma of her favorite treat wafted through the house.

Over time we became friends but I still hated that cake and I refused to eat it. Ever since my sister passed away we haven’t had carrot cake. I miss the smell and vibrant sweet taste of the carrot.

###

A Carrot Cake for Easter by Norah Colvin

“What will we cook today?” asked Mum.

“Carrot cake!” chimed the twins.

“But you don’t like carrot cake.”

“Carrot cake. Carrot cake.”

“Why?”

“Well, it’s going to be—”

“—Easter soon, and we want—”

“—to give the Easter Bunny—”

“—a surprise—”

“—present.”

The twins smiled at each other.

“Okay,” smiled Mum. “Carrot cake it is.”

“Yay!”

“First, we need the carrots.”

The children raced ahead to the veggie patch.

“What—”

“—happened?”

Their eyes opened wide. The carrot patch was devastated; not one carrot left.

“Carrot cake’s off,” said Mum. “That old rabbit can’t have carrot cake and eat them too.”

###

Icing on the Cake by Jan Malique

White Rabbit, White Rabbit, where is my cake? I can taste it now, senses inflaming and mouth salivating.

The Red and White Queens meet on the next Full Moon. Will dine off porcelain ethereal, even savour cakes galore, but yours will be missing. Robust Darjeeling and subtle Lapsang will flow,  what a tea-totaller’s dream. But not one for me.

You’ve reneged on our deal, the Mad Hatter isn’t happy, his reputation’s on the line. You know what this means? The contract states no room for error, no room for escape. So watch your foot. You know what I mean.

###

Occupational Therapy at St Luke’s by Anne Goodwin

Flaying the first carrot, Matty recites to help the work along:

Beautiful Soup, so rich and green,

Waiting in a hot tureen!

No, that will not do! This soup will be the colour of sand. But hopefully not the texture. Chuckling, a more appropriate rhyme comes through to her:

Run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run

Don’t give the farmer his fun, fun, fun

Nearby, the chimp-woman creams butter and sugar with a wooden spoon. Far too much of either for soup. And now the artist adds flour! Carrots in a cake? Has she landed in the funny farm?

###

To Catch a Thief? by JulesPaige

The horde of rabbits whored the garden and hoarded all the
carrots. It was odd that Madame Coniglio told me that all she
could see in her crystal ball was the auricle of bunny ears as
they scurried deep into their warrens.

I thought it was peculiar that she saw a bakery in my future.
Madame C didn’t charge for the first oracle session. She
handed me a double sided business card. Her side said
“I am always hare for you”… I thought it was a misspelling.

The reverse advertised Coniglio’s Confectioners.
With a photo of a carrot cake…

###

Carrot Cake by Irene Waters

“We have to have cake.  Bailey’s four today. We have to celebrate.”  Candy stared defiantly at her mother.

Marion sighed.  “Okay. You choose. Grain or carrot cake?”

“Grain. It’s got carrots in it anyway.”

Candy quickly gathered the ingredients. Grain, molasses, sugar cubes, crushed peppermint, cinnamon and sugar and two diced carrots which she combined in the huge mixing bowl. With difficulty she stirred the sticky mass until well mixed then she poured the  gloop onto a paper plate.

Taking a slice Candy ran to the stable. Bailey’s pricked ears heard,  Happy Birthday to you before receiving his treat.

###

Your Pet Rules by Ruchira Khanna

“It’s Leo’s b’day, and he would like to invite your Boston terrier, Ginni.”

Similar texts were sent for Pomeranian Coco, the Beagle Yogi.

“Let’s get a cake.” The mom declared with joy as she went shopping with her Labrador.

Soon Leo’s woofs were beyond control since his mates joined for his celebration.

The canines wore party caps and had a slice of carrot cake in front of them. They waited patiently for the command, ‘eat.’

However, as soon as the birthday song ended.
Leo gobbled the slices from all the plates leaving his friends puzzled.

###

Carrot Cake by Rugby 843

These are good!

Yes, the carrots are especially fine this year. Sweet, long, slim and hardly a bump in the lot!

Well they are our favorite delicacy. We are so lucky to have an abundance of them in this year’s crop.

Yes, Mother Nature has been good to us.

Crunching on the whole carrots, they tossed aside the tops for a later treat. After shredding was done they spit the contents into a mound in the middle of the dirt. The little ones gathered round and mom and dad needed no candles.

Happy Birthday dear kittens, Happy Birthday to….

###

Carrot Cake by Gordon Le Pard

“People lost so much money with those Tulips, no one is going to want to invest in a plant again.”

“But this is different.”

“Forget it, you can’t have your cake and eat it, as the English say.”

“But you can eat it, it’s delicious.”

The banker looked up, the gardener continued.

“What’s the full name of our king?”

“William of Orange.” The banker replied, puzzled.

He pulled a cloth off his basket, inside were carrots, not white or purple, but orange.

“A patriotic vegetable – we will certainly have our cake and eat it, we will make a fortune!”

###

Space by JulesPaige
(a poetic haibun)

Is there space in cake for carrots
Or any vegetable like zucchini?

Is it just the shape makes a cake…
Round, Square… A loaf?

Is there a reason to hide roots,
Or that which grows in rows?

To save fingers from the sharp teeth
Of a grater… I’ve used carrots in a jar

Specifically junior baby food
That’s got some texture

No added sugar – sweetness –
Comes from the applesauce

That’s in place of water that a box mix calls
For…to add flavor along with my love

fresh baked anything
there’s always space for good food,
family and friends

###

Carrot Cake by Robbie Cheadle

My nephews came for a “sleep over” this weekend and, after I saw Charli’s flash fiction prompt words of carrot cake, I decided to make this treat with them. The cakes didn’t come out quite as expected but they still tasted delicious.

“Why is my cake sunken in the middle, Auntie Robbie?”

“Well, Ben, did you follow the recipe properly? Tell me what you put into the cake.”

“I put all the things on the list in, and I measured them carefully just like you said I should. Oh, and I put an extra teaspoon of baking powder in so that it would be sure to rise nicely.”

“You have answered your own question, Ben. An extra spoon of a raising agent will make your cake sink in the middle. Baking is a science. You have to follow the recipe exactly.”

###

Flash Fiction by Pensitivity

The challenge was which was better, oil, margarine or butter, and which measures, imperial, metric or ‘cups’.

The American team used oil and cups.

The Home team used margarine and metric.

The Boss used imperial and butter.

I made two, one oil and imperial, the other margarine and cups.

The judges were work colleagues and the final tasting was on the Friday.

At 50p a taste, the proceeds went to charity, all efforts identified by a number.

It was unanimous that whilst the cakes were all OK, it was the cream cheese frosting that walked away with the ‘prize’.

###

Carrot  Cake by Michael Grogan

At one point Gran became obsessed with making carrot cake. She’d read that at it might be ‘healthy’ and so took to making them to improve everyone’s health.

She loved to quote the reasons from people she thought knew the ins and outs of these cakes. But the one thing she found hard to justify was the thick layer of icing she’d see on the store bought cakes.

“All that sugar,” she’d say, “ be better saving it for my tea.”

Once Gran started to make anything she became an expert.

Gran’s carrot cakes came icing free.

###

Carrot CAKE by Miriam Hurdle

“What do you want for dessert, Mimi? Do you like carrot cake?”

“Noop! When I want to have dessert, I have dessert.”

“When do you mean? Carrot cake is dessert!”

“See, Nancy. My mom grows carrots. When she makes carrot cake, she is very generous to put triple portions of grated carrots into the cake mix. The cake tastes just like carrots, you know! When I eat cake, I eat cake. When I eat carrots, I eat carrots. I just don’t eat carrot cake.”

“Oh, no wonder, Mimi! Here, try my carrot CAKE that doesn’t have the carrot taste!”

###

Carrot Mistake by Chelsea Owens

There it sits, upon a plate:
It may be cake, but it’s cake I hate.

Who was first to see a root
And put it where one should mix a fruit?

Raisins do not count this time
Since they’ve barely made my list of “likes.”

If your cake needs added sweets,
Try not adding dirty veggie treats.

“I see your point,” you might say,
“But my recipe makes doubters sway.”

“I especi’lly aim to please,
“By whipping a frosting of cream cheese.”

Citing that was a mistake;
Carrots, raisins, cream cheese: baked
Are the ingredients that take my cake.

###

Carrot Heads by CalmKate

The cupboard was bare yet again … two busy ladies who regularly forgot to shop! And in the outback the grocery stores shut early.

So Rita was creating a delicious cake from a few old carrots and a bit of flour for desert tonight. No eggs so the last of our honey went in, she was a whizz at making something out of so little.

A local from a large station and an art teacher she was practical and creative. Dan our handsome gay mate would propose that night and two kids later we realised we had misjudged him!

###

Carrot Cake by Kim Blades

Jan dashed onto the main road.

Bullets whined through the drowsy sunshine like furious hornets.

Then silence.

He glanced back as his pursuer threw down the empty gun.

Jan raced on, instinctively turning into a side street.

He saw a bakery and stumbled into the shop, hoping for a back entrance through which he might escape.

He leant against the counter, his heart pumping furiously.

Through eyes misted with perspiration, he saw the best looking cake ever.

White, creamy icing covered a huge round cake, bedecked with small, orange fondant carrots.

His mouth watered for a taste of carrot cake.

###

The Break-In by Anurag Bakhshi

We returned home to find the door ajar.

Fearing the worse, I asked my family to stay behind me, and cautiously opened the door.

The living room looked like a disaster zone.

And then, I noticed the trail of blood, going inside.

We dashed into the bedroom…

….only to find a little girl there, bleeding from her mouth.

And as soon as she saw us, her eyes became red…as she shouted, “That carrot cake was so hard, it broke all my teeth, you brutes. If I don’t put you in prison for this, my name is not Goldilocks!”

###

Decaff to Follow by Liz Husebye Hartmann

In the sepulchral half-light, behind a fortress of tall paper stacks, the crackling tapping endures: Fast, slow, shuffle, sudden dry slap.

“Found it!” A light clicks on, illumines a circle above. A rectangular shadow appears and shifts amid crisp rustling.

“What the hell is code 2 for box 10b on IRS form 6666?” a heinous curse word erupts, with a paper blizzard as Princess Kittycat launches from the tallest stack. She knows what’s coming–right after the wracking sobs.

A friendly hand offers a plated slice of carrot cake over the wall of the tax-time fortress.

Decaf to follow.

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Carrot Cake by TinTins

‘Oooh ye ‘ear aboyt our Mary? Only gone got ‘erself a toyboy ‘asn’t she!’

‘Aye an’ she started dyin’ ‘er ‘air. Oi didn’t recognise ‘er at de bingo. Lookin’ loike de cat got de cream; showin’ ‘imself aff she were. His called Rodrigo.’

‘Rodrigo? Pure continental. ‘Oy auld?’

‘69 oi ‘eard.’

Becki smiled, wondering who they were gossiping about today. With notepad and pen poised, she walked over to the two biddies as they sat at their usual table.

‘What’ll it be the-day ladies?’

‘Tea an’ carrot cake.’

‘Lovely, ye celebratin’ anythin’ speshal?’

‘Mary’s 70th. She’ll be ‘ere soon.’

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And Eat it Too by D. Avery

“Shorty sure takes the cake.”

“Yep. Carrot cake.”

“Shorty’s a first responder! She kin really take the reins. Heck, she kin braid her own reins. That wrangler built a ranch, ran a rodeo, an’ published a book all while workin’ on her own books. An’, she sure kin cook. Is there nuthin’ Shorty cain’t do?”

“Jeez, that’s a tough one, but I already know the answer. She cain’t be anything but kind.”

“Got that right Kid, she ain’t never.”

“Yep. That gal’s got broad shoulders and a big heart.”

“Got that right Kid. Why, Shorty’s heart’s as big as….”

***

“Pal, ya left another sentence unfinished.”

“Yep. Readers kin submit the end of that sentence here as a reply. If they do, an undisclosed amount of money will be donated to Carrot Ranch through that fancy patron button up there in the upper left hand corner.”

“Like last week.”

“Yep. Aussie got an A fer effort fer her subtle submarine subtext.”

“It’s hard for Aussie ta be anything but decent. Don’t unnerstan’ her hangin’ out with you.”

“It’s a wonder.

“From down under. So you want folks ta finish that sentence?”

“Yep. Shorty’s heart is as big as_____________ .”

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