Saddle Up Saloon; Karaoke Mixed Playlist

Written by D. Avery @shiftnshake

       Read my writing and see my books at  https://shiftnshake.wordpress.com

December 20, 2020

“What’re ya doin’ Kid?”

“Hey, Pal. Jist tryin’ ta teach my new hog some old tricks. Sit Curly, sit.”

“On the one hand, Kid, I’m glad yer admittin’ thet yer puglet’s a piglet. On the uther hand, I still ain’t so sure this is sech a good idea, yer goin’ ahead an’ keepin’ it as a pet. Whyn’t I go with ya ta Slim Chance’s ranch, git a refund, return this piglet.”

“No way, Pal, I ain’t returnin’ Curly, ain’t gonna have my little piggy put back on the market.”

“Well, I still feel like Slim took advan’age a ya. Mebbe we oughtta report him ta the ‘thorities fer false advertisin’.”

“No way am I squealin’ on Slim ‘bout pigs ta the cops.”

“Well what are ya gonna do, Kid?”

“Look, Pal, mebbe I was lookin’ fer pups in all the wrong places, but I ended up with this here puglet, an’ there’s no lookin’ back. As Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young sang, ya jist gotta love the one yer with:

Times are strange, an’ kinda scary

An’ ya got yersef a dog ain’t very hairy

Thet ain’t really such a muddle

‘cause even piglets wanna cuddle

There’s cloven hooves inside four little boots

jist like a puppy, this pig is cute

an’ if it’s not the dog ya thought ya sought

Love the hog ya’ve got

Love the hog ya’ve got

Love the hog ya’ve got

Love the hog ya’ve got

Curly is happy, an’ thet makes me glad

Thinkin’ this is the best puglet I’ve ever had

Made an error, but I ain’t mistaken

Now I got a puglet, an’ give up on bacon

There’s cloven hooves inside four little boots

jist like a puppy, this pig is cute

an’ if it’s not the dog ya thought ya sought

Love the hog ya’ve got

Love the hog ya’ve got

Love the hog ya’ve got

Love the hog ya’ve got.”

“Least ya got somethin’ t’gether fer Karaoke Night, Kid. Ya been so dang distracted by thet animal, wasn’t sure ya were gonna keep up with things here at the Saloon.”

“Well, what about you, Pal? Ya got a tune fer the folks?”

“Yep. Been thinkin’ on my horror-scope, this bein’ the Year a the Rat an’ all.”

“Hindsight seein’ 2020, it sure has been a horror, Pal.”

“This is ta the tune a Al Stewart’s Year of the Cat:

Wakin’ up in a dystopian novel

In a country where they turn back law

Every day another debacle

Can’t believe ya’ve seen what ya saw

An’ we keep wund’rin’ when relief is comin’

Wund’rin’ when the madness will end

But 2021 is the year a the Metal Oxen

We jist gotta hang on, hang strong until then

In the Year of the Rat.”

“Jeez. Hello, Darkness, my old friend… Yer lyrics are kinda a downer, Pal. ‘Tis the season a celebratin’ light. Got a light cheery song?”

“Well, I know not ever’one has the same terditions but here’s a song I ‘member from Christmas pasts:

Away on the ranch, no pup fer the Kid

If disappointed, it were well hid

Kid didn’t worry, no Kid did not whine

Some people have canines, some people have swine

This grunt a the litter will most certainly do

And now as fer bacon, Kid does eschew

We’re happy fer the Mills an’ their li’l Pointer

An’ happy fer Kid who’s content with an oinker.

“Now who’s distracted by little Curly? This Karaoke Night ain’t s’posed ta be ‘bout me an’ my puglet, Pal. Though I reckon we was a might vague on what it is s’posed ta be about.”

“Ya ref’renced Simon an’ Garfunkel earlier Kid. Puts me in mind a their hit, Bridge Over Troubled Water:

When yer stir crazy, your bubble small

Thet computer screen kin bust down the walls

We can zoom, and come together

With friends all around the world

This here saloon offers shelter

We saved a seat fer you

This here saloon offers shelter

We saved a seat fer you

If yer feelin’ low

Feelin’ all alone

An’ ever’thin’s closed agin

We kin gather here

Don’t mind the pig an’ goats, Kid’ll git ‘em trained soon

Fer you there’s always room

This here saloon offers shelter

We saved a seat fer you

This here saloon offers shelter

We saved a seat fer you

Write on Ranchers

Write yer truths

Yer time has come to shine

All your dreams are on their way

See how they shine

Oh, if you need some friends

We’re here all the time

This here saloon offers shelter

We saved a seat fer you

This here saloon offers shelter

We saved a seat fer you.”

“That’s a little better, Pal.”

“Yeah, well, it’s all I got. Where is ever’one, Kid? Oh, wait, here’s Frankie! An’ look’t thet, Burt prancin’, all done up in bells an’ bows an’ bearin’ gifts. Howdy Franky! Good ta see ya.”

“I wouldn’t miss Karaoke Night. Lemme at the stage!”

“Sure, Frankie, but let us jist ‘splain somethin’ ta the folks in the audience thet might be wunnerin’ ‘bout Burt, yer horse. Yep, Burt is in the saloon. Why not, Kid’s piglet’s in here too.”

“A course Burt’s in here with me. He’s a service horse.”

“Ya mean ‘cause ya still deliver mail on horseback?”

“Well that, an’ he’s my seein’ eye horse. Now shush. Ya know the tune ta We Three Kings?

Burt an’ me we travel so far

Deliverin’ mail with no van or car

He’s a sturdy strong horse

Keeps us mostly on course

In these parts we’re without par

*

Packages too many ta count

But I can trust Burt, my loyal mount

We sweat an’ shiver

But always deliver

With time ta Saddle Up unannounced

*

Oh bartender I wonder if you might

Reward me for my work tonight

I delivered a song

After a day so long

But at the Saloon I’m feelin’ alright.”

“Ernie, what d’ya say, did Frankie earn a round?”

“You betcha Pal. An’ mebbe I’ll step up on the stage too. Here goes:

Imagine there’s no Heaven
It’s easy if you try
No Hell below us
Above us only sky

Imagine all the people
Livin’ for today
Aaa haa

Imagine there’s no countries
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too

Imagine all the people
Livin’ life in peace
Yoo hoo

You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man

Imagine all the people
Sharin’ all the world
Yoo hoo

You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will live as one

“I know that ain’t the way Karaoke works here, Pal, but I couldn’t bring myself ta change one word a that John Lennon song.”

“I agree with ya Ernie.”

“Me too. Thinkin’ that’s a fine note ta end on.

Enjoy the Solstice ever’body. May there be much light in yer lives. We’ll always leave the light on fer ya here at the Saddle Up Saloon.”

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27 Comments

  1. Norah

    Glad they couldn’t imagine changing a word of Imagine. I couldn’t either. Lots of fun with the others though. 🙂

    • D. Avery @shiftnshake

      Thanks Norah. This is a lot of fun to do.

      • Norah

        I’m pleased you are enjoying it. You are very good at it.

  2. robertawrites235681907

    Bravo, Pal and Kid, you did a great job. Wishing all the Carrot Ranchers a Merry Christmas.

    • D. Avery @shiftnshake

      Thank you Robbie. I hope you get to enjoy time with family. Be well!

      • robertawrites235681907

        Indeed, Miss D. I have 7 families coming on Christmas day – 7!!!

  3. D. Avery @shiftnshake

    Reblogged this on ShiftnShake and commented:

    Catch up with Kid and Pal. They’re playing your song.

  4. Jules

    Always a pleasure to visit the Saloon and the crew.
    Happy love lights to all and to all a great New Year!

    • D. Avery @shiftnshake

      Thanks for swinging through our swinging doors, Jules. Yep, let the love lights shine!

  5. suespitulnik

    Imagine. Glad we don’t have to imagine life without the Ranch. I know it’s my light of friendship, smiles, and good times. Thank you to all involved. Merry Christmas or whatever holiday you are observing. May 2021 find us able to do our socializing in person with those close-by and via technology with those far and wide (which we might not have learned were it not for the pandemic.)

    • D. Avery @shiftnshake

      Yes, we have all upped our game as far as using technology this year. And the Ranch grew a Monday Saloon and Tuesday weekly features! And I imagine 2021 is going to be a very good year for all.

  6. Marsha

    Hilarious. I think that Kid needs to post pictures of his piglet in booties. All y’all have a wonderful holiday there at the Ranch. Even the piglet can enjoy the holidays knowing that he’s safe from being the meal. 🙂

    • D. Avery @shiftnshake

      The boots are coming off now that there is acceptance that this is a piglet and not a puppy, but yeah, I’ll have to start a baby scrap book.
      Yes, this piglet can breathe easy.

  7. Ann Edall-Robson

    I love how Pal and Kid shift and shake the words up to old melodies that stick in your head afterward. A wonderful Christmas gift to all of us.

    • D. Avery @shiftnshake

      Wow, are you easy to shop for! Yeah, those two. They surprise me, never know what’s coming. Love the Hog Ya Got cracked me up and I’m the one that holds the pen. (Bic, not pig)
      Thanks Ann. Be well out there. Hope you are enjoying the solstice energy.

      • Ann Edall-Robson

        The solstice energy has taken hold of my mind with a vengeance. I have yet to decide if it will be a good or not. In our part of the world, we are welcoming the first day of winter with the gift of a snowstorm. There are some who would disagree with this wintery present, but not being a heat lover, I think it’s awesome! Take care, D.

      • D. Avery @shiftnshake

        Choose good, Ann. It’s got to be good.

  8. Jennie

    Great karaoke, Kid and Pal. I love these songs, and you did a great take. So glad you didn’t change the lyrics to Imagine. Thanks for your final words about the solstice and leaving the light on. So nice!

    • D. Avery @shiftnshake

      Thanks! See ya next week for story time!

      • Jennie

        You’re welcome, D. See ya next week! ????

  9. Charli Mills

    Clacking hooves, clacking hooves
    Clacking all the way
    Oh what fun it is to see
    A Kid’s pig dance today!

  10. Charli Mills

    Dashing through the Ranch
    I thought I heard a tune
    And sought the joyful sound
    It led to the Saloon
    With folks gathered around
    Bells on Bart did ring
    Bows made all seem bright
    Then I heard John sing
    And I’ll imagine all the night!

    • D. Avery @shiftnshake

      Thank you for your merry tune! I love it.

  11. Anne Goodwin

    Very clever, and fun. Haven’t listened to Al Stewart for years, so thanks for the reminder.

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