“What’re ya doin’ Kid?”
“Hey, Pal. Jist tryin’ ta teach my new hog some old tricks. Sit Curly, sit.”
“On the one hand, Kid, I’m glad yer admittin’ thet yer puglet’s a piglet. On the uther hand, I still ain’t so sure this is sech a good idea, yer goin’ ahead an’ keepin’ it as a pet. Whyn’t I go with ya ta Slim Chance’s ranch, git a refund, return this piglet.”
“No way, Pal, I ain’t returnin’ Curly, ain’t gonna have my little piggy put back on the market.”
“Well, I still feel like Slim took advan’age a ya. Mebbe we oughtta report him ta the ‘thorities fer false advertisin’.”
“No way am I squealin’ on Slim ‘bout pigs ta the cops.”
“Well what are ya gonna do, Kid?”
“Look, Pal, mebbe I was lookin’ fer pups in all the wrong places, but I ended up with this here puglet, an’ there’s no lookin’ back. As Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young sang, ya jist gotta love the one yer with:
Times are strange, an’ kinda scary
An’ ya got yersef a dog ain’t very hairy
Thet ain’t really such a muddle
‘cause even piglets wanna cuddle
There’s cloven hooves inside four little boots
jist like a puppy, this pig is cute
an’ if it’s not the dog ya thought ya sought
Love the hog ya’ve got
Love the hog ya’ve got
Love the hog ya’ve got
Love the hog ya’ve got
Curly is happy, an’ thet makes me glad
Thinkin’ this is the best puglet I’ve ever had
Made an error, but I ain’t mistaken
Now I got a puglet, an’ give up on bacon
There’s cloven hooves inside four little boots
jist like a puppy, this pig is cute
an’ if it’s not the dog ya thought ya sought
Love the hog ya’ve got
Love the hog ya’ve got
Love the hog ya’ve got
Love the hog ya’ve got.”
“Least ya got somethin’ t’gether fer Karaoke Night, Kid. Ya been so dang distracted by thet animal, wasn’t sure ya were gonna keep up with things here at the Saloon.”
“Well, what about you, Pal? Ya got a tune fer the folks?”
“Yep. Been thinkin’ on my horror-scope, this bein’ the Year a the Rat an’ all.”
“Hindsight seein’ 2020, it sure has been a horror, Pal.”
“This is ta the tune a Al Stewart’s Year of the Cat:
Wakin’ up in a dystopian novel
In a country where they turn back law
Every day another debacle
Can’t believe ya’ve seen what ya saw
An’ we keep wund’rin’ when relief is comin’
Wund’rin’ when the madness will end
But 2021 is the year a the Metal Oxen
We jist gotta hang on, hang strong until then
In the Year of the Rat.”
“Jeez. Hello, Darkness, my old friend… Yer lyrics are kinda a downer, Pal. ‘Tis the season a celebratin’ light. Got a light cheery song?”
“Well, I know not ever’one has the same terditions but here’s a song I ‘member from Christmas pasts:
Away on the ranch, no pup fer the Kid
If disappointed, it were well hid
Kid didn’t worry, no Kid did not whine
Some people have canines, some people have swine
This grunt a the litter will most certainly do
And now as fer bacon, Kid does eschew
We’re happy fer the Mills an’ their li’l Pointer
An’ happy fer Kid who’s content with an oinker.”
“Now who’s distracted by little Curly? This Karaoke Night ain’t s’posed ta be ‘bout me an’ my puglet, Pal. Though I reckon we was a might vague on what it is s’posed ta be about.”
“Ya ref’renced Simon an’ Garfunkel earlier Kid. Puts me in mind a their hit, Bridge Over Troubled Water:
When yer stir crazy, your bubble small
Thet computer screen kin bust down the walls
We can zoom, and come together
With friends all around the world
This here saloon offers shelter
We saved a seat fer you
This here saloon offers shelter
We saved a seat fer you
If yer feelin’ low
Feelin’ all alone
An’ ever’thin’s closed agin
We kin gather here
Don’t mind the pig an’ goats, Kid’ll git ‘em trained soon
Fer you there’s always room
This here saloon offers shelter
We saved a seat fer you
This here saloon offers shelter
We saved a seat fer you
Write on Ranchers
Write yer truths
Yer time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way
See how they shine
Oh, if you need some friends
We’re here all the time
This here saloon offers shelter
We saved a seat fer you
This here saloon offers shelter
We saved a seat fer you.”
“That’s a little better, Pal.”
“Yeah, well, it’s all I got. Where is ever’one, Kid? Oh, wait, here’s Frankie! An’ look’t thet, Burt prancin’, all done up in bells an’ bows an’ bearin’ gifts. Howdy Franky! Good ta see ya.”
“I wouldn’t miss Karaoke Night. Lemme at the stage!”
“Sure, Frankie, but let us jist ‘splain somethin’ ta the folks in the audience thet might be wunnerin’ ‘bout Burt, yer horse. Yep, Burt is in the saloon. Why not, Kid’s piglet’s in here too.”
“A course Burt’s in here with me. He’s a service horse.”
“Ya mean ‘cause ya still deliver mail on horseback?”
“Well that, an’ he’s my seein’ eye horse. Now shush. Ya know the tune ta We Three Kings?
Burt an’ me we travel so far
Deliverin’ mail with no van or car
He’s a sturdy strong horse
Keeps us mostly on course
In these parts we’re without par
*
Packages too many ta count
But I can trust Burt, my loyal mount
We sweat an’ shiver
But always deliver
With time ta Saddle Up unannounced
*
Oh bartender I wonder if you might
Reward me for my work tonight
I delivered a song
After a day so long
But at the Saloon I’m feelin’ alright.”
“Ernie, what d’ya say, did Frankie earn a round?”
“You betcha Pal. An’ mebbe I’ll step up on the stage too. Here goes:
Imagine there’s no Heaven
It’s easy if you try
No Hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Livin’ for today
Aaa haa
Imagine there’s no countries
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Livin’ life in peace
Yoo hoo
You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will be as one
Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharin’ all the world
Yoo hoo
You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will live as one
“I know that ain’t the way Karaoke works here, Pal, but I couldn’t bring myself ta change one word a that John Lennon song.”
“I agree with ya Ernie.”
“Me too. Thinkin’ that’s a fine note ta end on.
Enjoy the Solstice ever’body. May there be much light in yer lives. We’ll always leave the light on fer ya here at the Saddle Up Saloon.”
Glad they couldn’t imagine changing a word of Imagine. I couldn’t either. Lots of fun with the others though. 🙂
Thanks Norah. This is a lot of fun to do.
I’m pleased you are enjoying it. You are very good at it.
Bravo, Pal and Kid, you did a great job. Wishing all the Carrot Ranchers a Merry Christmas.
Thank you Robbie. I hope you get to enjoy time with family. Be well!
Indeed, Miss D. I have 7 families coming on Christmas day – 7!!!
Reblogged this on ShiftnShake and commented:
Catch up with Kid and Pal. They’re playing your song.
Always a pleasure to visit the Saloon and the crew.
Happy love lights to all and to all a great New Year!
Thanks for swinging through our swinging doors, Jules. Yep, let the love lights shine!
Imagine. Glad we don’t have to imagine life without the Ranch. I know it’s my light of friendship, smiles, and good times. Thank you to all involved. Merry Christmas or whatever holiday you are observing. May 2021 find us able to do our socializing in person with those close-by and via technology with those far and wide (which we might not have learned were it not for the pandemic.)
Yes, we have all upped our game as far as using technology this year. And the Ranch grew a Monday Saloon and Tuesday weekly features! And I imagine 2021 is going to be a very good year for all.
Hilarious. I think that Kid needs to post pictures of his piglet in booties. All y’all have a wonderful holiday there at the Ranch. Even the piglet can enjoy the holidays knowing that he’s safe from being the meal. 🙂
The boots are coming off now that there is acceptance that this is a piglet and not a puppy, but yeah, I’ll have to start a baby scrap book.
Yes, this piglet can breathe easy.
So there is a real piglet? Do his feet click on the floor? Is that why he wears boots, or is Kid just kidding himself into pretending Piglet is a puppy?
Kid got to thinking about getting a puppy with Charli’s December 10 post; then Kid got tricked by Slim Chance. The details are here:
https://shiftnshake.wordpress.com/2020/12/12/crlc-challenge-never-dreamed/
I love how Pal and Kid shift and shake the words up to old melodies that stick in your head afterward. A wonderful Christmas gift to all of us.
Wow, are you easy to shop for! Yeah, those two. They surprise me, never know what’s coming. Love the Hog Ya Got cracked me up and I’m the one that holds the pen. (Bic, not pig)
Thanks Ann. Be well out there. Hope you are enjoying the solstice energy.
The solstice energy has taken hold of my mind with a vengeance. I have yet to decide if it will be a good or not. In our part of the world, we are welcoming the first day of winter with the gift of a snowstorm. There are some who would disagree with this wintery present, but not being a heat lover, I think it’s awesome! Take care, D.
Choose good, Ann. It’s got to be good.
Great karaoke, Kid and Pal. I love these songs, and you did a great take. So glad you didn’t change the lyrics to Imagine. Thanks for your final words about the solstice and leaving the light on. So nice!
Thanks! See ya next week for story time!
You’re welcome, D. See ya next week! 🙂
Clacking hooves, clacking hooves
Clacking all the way
Oh what fun it is to see
A Kid’s pig dance today!
Hay!
That’s good!
Dashing through the Ranch
I thought I heard a tune
And sought the joyful sound
It led to the Saloon
With folks gathered around
Bells on Bart did ring
Bows made all seem bright
Then I heard John sing
And I’ll imagine all the night!
Thank you for your merry tune! I love it.
Very clever, and fun. Haven’t listened to Al Stewart for years, so thanks for the reminder.