“What’re ya doin’ Kid?”

“Hey, Pal. Jist tryin’ ta teach my new hog some old tricks. Sit Curly, sit.”

“On the one hand, Kid, I’m glad yer admittin’ thet yer puglet’s a piglet. On the uther hand, I still ain’t so sure this is sech a good idea, yer goin’ ahead an’ keepin’ it as a pet. Whyn’t I go with ya ta Slim Chance’s ranch, git a refund, return this piglet.”

“No way, Pal, I ain’t returnin’ Curly, ain’t gonna have my little piggy put back on the market.”

“Well, I still feel like Slim took advan’age a ya. Mebbe we oughtta report him ta the ‘thorities fer false advertisin’.”

“No way am I squealin’ on Slim ‘bout pigs ta the cops.”

“Well what are ya gonna do, Kid?”

“Look, Pal, mebbe I was lookin’ fer pups in all the wrong places, but I ended up with this here puglet, an’ there’s no lookin’ back. As Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young sang, ya jist gotta love the one yer with:

Times are strange, an’ kinda scary

An’ ya got yersef a dog ain’t very hairy

Thet ain’t really such a muddle

‘cause even piglets wanna cuddle

There’s cloven hooves inside four little boots

jist like a puppy, this pig is cute

an’ if it’s not the dog ya thought ya sought

Love the hog ya’ve got

Love the hog ya’ve got

Love the hog ya’ve got

Love the hog ya’ve got

Curly is happy, an’ thet makes me glad

Thinkin’ this is the best puglet I’ve ever had

Made an error, but I ain’t mistaken

Now I got a puglet, an’ give up on bacon

There’s cloven hooves inside four little boots

jist like a puppy, this pig is cute

an’ if it’s not the dog ya thought ya sought

Love the hog ya’ve got

Love the hog ya’ve got

Love the hog ya’ve got

Love the hog ya’ve got.”

“Least ya got somethin’ t’gether fer Karaoke Night, Kid. Ya been so dang distracted by thet animal, wasn’t sure ya were gonna keep up with things here at the Saloon.”

“Well, what about you, Pal? Ya got a tune fer the folks?”

“Yep. Been thinkin’ on my horror-scope, this bein’ the Year a the Rat an’ all.”

“Hindsight seein’ 2020, it sure has been a horror, Pal.”

“This is ta the tune a Al Stewart’s Year of the Cat:

Wakin’ up in a dystopian novel

In a country where they turn back law

Every day another debacle

Can’t believe ya’ve seen what ya saw

An’ we keep wund’rin’ when relief is comin’

Wund’rin’ when the madness will end

But 2021 is the year a the Metal Oxen

We jist gotta hang on, hang strong until then

In the Year of the Rat.”

“Jeez. Hello, Darkness, my old friend… Yer lyrics are kinda a downer, Pal. ‘Tis the season a celebratin’ light. Got a light cheery song?”

“Well, I know not ever’one has the same terditions but here’s a song I ‘member from Christmas pasts:

Away on the ranch, no pup fer the Kid

If disappointed, it were well hid

Kid didn’t worry, no Kid did not whine

Some people have canines, some people have swine

This grunt a the litter will most certainly do

And now as fer bacon, Kid does eschew

We’re happy fer the Mills an’ their li’l Pointer

An’ happy fer Kid who’s content with an oinker.”

“Now who’s distracted by little Curly? This Karaoke Night ain’t s’posed ta be ‘bout me an’ my puglet, Pal. Though I reckon we was a might vague on what it is s’posed ta be about.”

“Ya ref’renced Simon an’ Garfunkel earlier Kid. Puts me in mind a their hit, Bridge Over Troubled Water:

When yer stir crazy, your bubble small

Thet computer screen kin bust down the walls

We can zoom, and come together

With friends all around the world

This here saloon offers shelter

We saved a seat fer you

This here saloon offers shelter

We saved a seat fer you

If yer feelin’ low

Feelin’ all alone

An’ ever’thin’s closed agin

We kin gather here

Don’t mind the pig an’ goats, Kid’ll git ‘em trained soon

Fer you there’s always room

This here saloon offers shelter

We saved a seat fer you

This here saloon offers shelter

We saved a seat fer you

Write on Ranchers

Write yer truths

Yer time has come to shine

All your dreams are on their way

See how they shine

Oh, if you need some friends

We’re here all the time

This here saloon offers shelter

We saved a seat fer you

This here saloon offers shelter

We saved a seat fer you.”

“That’s a little better, Pal.”

“Yeah, well, it’s all I got. Where is ever’one, Kid? Oh, wait, here’s Frankie! An’ look’t thet, Burt prancin’, all done up in bells an’ bows an’ bearin’ gifts. Howdy Franky! Good ta see ya.”

“I wouldn’t miss Karaoke Night. Lemme at the stage!”

“Sure, Frankie, but let us jist ‘splain somethin’ ta the folks in the audience thet might be wunnerin’ ‘bout Burt, yer horse. Yep, Burt is in the saloon. Why not, Kid’s piglet’s in here too.”

“A course Burt’s in here with me. He’s a service horse.”

“Ya mean ‘cause ya still deliver mail on horseback?”

“Well that, an’ he’s my seein’ eye horse. Now shush. Ya know the tune ta We Three Kings?

Burt an’ me we travel so far

Deliverin’ mail with no van or car

He’s a sturdy strong horse

Keeps us mostly on course

In these parts we’re without par

*

Packages too many ta count

But I can trust Burt, my loyal mount

We sweat an’ shiver

But always deliver

With time ta Saddle Up unannounced

*

Oh bartender I wonder if you might

Reward me for my work tonight

I delivered a song

After a day so long

But at the Saloon I’m feelin’ alright.”

“Ernie, what d’ya say, did Frankie earn a round?”

“You betcha Pal. An’ mebbe I’ll step up on the stage too. Here goes:

Imagine there’s no Heaven
It’s easy if you try
No Hell below us
Above us only sky

Imagine all the people
Livin’ for today
Aaa haa

Imagine there’s no countries
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too

Imagine all the people
Livin’ life in peace
Yoo hoo

You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man

Imagine all the people
Sharin’ all the world
Yoo hoo

You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will live as one

“I know that ain’t the way Karaoke works here, Pal, but I couldn’t bring myself ta change one word a that John Lennon song.”

“I agree with ya Ernie.”

“Me too. Thinkin’ that’s a fine note ta end on.

Enjoy the Solstice ever’body. May there be much light in yer lives. We’ll always leave the light on fer ya here at the Saddle Up Saloon.”