Whew! Welcome to Anyone Can Poem, the time when we scare away the I-can’t-coyotes and embrace the I-will-wallabies.
Yes, our rodeo has wallabies.
Thank you to all the amazing poets who responded to my challenge to murder their children -erm, to remove their unnecessary or superfluous words.
Now, after taking out extra adverbs, adjectives, and grandiose language; we will spend this month filling our poetry with the best words.
How do you choose the best words? Easy.
- Decide what your poem (or, intended poem) is about. What moment do you want to capture; what feeling do you want the reader to feel; what action do you want to encapsulate?
- Which form (metered, rhymed, free verse, specific syllable count) do you feel works best with your theme?
- Take time to free-write descriptors, actions, feelings, colors -WHATEVER about the poetic moment.
- Pick your favorites from Step 3. Form phrases. Make it poetic.
- Form those pieces into a ‘final’ poem.
- Take the poem, line by line, and check if the words you picked are just showing off. Check if they are flowery. Make sure they are not fluffy bits of wallaby fur only intended to look cute.
- Instead; pick impactful, meaningful words and phrases that put the reader in the moment.
Let’s say my answer to #1 is chocolate. I want to capture the delectable moment when a piece of chocolate melts across your tongue and drips down your throat. Ah, the anticipation! The sensation! The bliss!
For #2, I choose to write it free-verse.
#3, Free-write: chocolate, rich, tasty, moist, mouthful, bliss, gurgling tummy, slip down, melt, rich goodness, milk chocolate, smooth, tantalizing, anticipation, square….
Now, I pick my favorites (#4) and smash them into a poem (#5):
Milky mouthful slips and drips
Across my licking, moist tongue
Come to me, my choc’late bliss
Slip down down down to my gurgling tummy.
Oh, dear. I have some removal to do of extra words (#6). While I’m at it, I’ll change or add better words (#7):Milky mouthful slips and drips Rich and silky milky sliceAcross my licking, moist tongue -Simmers on my tongueCome to me, my choc’late bliss -Melting down; oh, choc’late bliss!
Slip down down down to my gurgling tummy. Anticipation, come.
Hmm. Looks like it wanted to be formed after all. In terms of word choice, what do you think? Did I pick impactful or unnecessary? What would you edit or suggest?
Now, as always, it’s your turn. Go through the steps. Edit and refine. Then, send me what you’ve got or share it in the comments. You can also share what you’ve got at any point along the steps, for pointers. I’m happy to help.
And, above all, have fun!
Submissions are now closed. Find our latest challenge to enter.
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©2021 Chel Owens
Carrot Ranch Literary Community 
I see. I see. 😉 I see what you mean. You illustrated this well. How precious you are. Thank you. Appreciate 💕
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Thank you, Selma. ❤ Keep writing!
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Your explanation is clear, Chel, and your example clarifies each point. I like how you condensed and restructured your original draft. That is the beauty and power of revision. Now I’m searching drawers for my chocolate stash!
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Oh, phew. It’s hard to know how I’ll come across when writing so late at night! 😉
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The muses have better access when we are tired. 😉
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On the other hand …. sometimes it’s better to leave it raw and exposed. Too much polish can hide the grain.
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I find that raw poetry only works consistently well in the hands of a poet who’s experienced. Like you, Richmond.
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Hmmm …. was that complimentary or patronising? It’s a fine line, I suppose. But, experienced? No. Maybe just old and lazy.
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Never patronising. Always sincere when it comes to writing.
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I love the poetic licence that allows for wallabies at the Rodeo. It would even be true if the Rodeo was based in Hawaii (which seems doubtful). They are much-loved in this part of the world and Australia’s ruby union team is named after them. The cutest form is the ever-smiling quokka. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJm9iHU0jVg Foe serious students check out
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wallaby
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‘Quokka’ didn’t quite work with my alliteration, Doug. 😀 They are cute, though.
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As a fellow admirer of chocolates, this was lovely, Chel:) The end result of revision is amazing. Just a thought. Perhaps we can add a couple of lines about how the taste of chocolate impacts our mood throughout the day.
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Oh, definitely. That’s a great idea!
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Reblogged this on ShiftnShake and commented:
Chel Owens would have you know that anyone, yes, anyone, can poem. Click over to the Saddle Up Saloon for her suggestions and savory example. Try it! You can do it!
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Great ideas !
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Thanks! Take a spin!
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you’re welcome!
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[…] We’ve a rough ride this year -through loosening up, parody, forms, meter, and word choice. […]
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